FT: New England 0-0 Montreal
Both teams entered today’s game with no goals and no wins and they will leave the same way. Hug your loved ones and give thanks for surviving 90min of that. You made it.
I’ll be back for Orlando City vs. Vancouver at 7:30pm ET.
4 more minutes? ALRIGHT!
It really isn’t necessary. I think we can let this one die peacefully.
“Blah blah blah winter schedule”
This game isn’t giving me much to talk about, so here’s Jermaine Jones’ baby making some dope art.
Lee Nguyen out here looking like a Mario Bros. 2 onion.
ONE shot on goal this half. Much more of this and I’m asking Don Garber to pay for my internet service.
Andrés Romero has a neck tattoo. Should have been a defensive midfielder.
That’s his 2nd yellow. Maybe facing 10 men at home is what the Revs need to actually score a goal this season.
Hahaha. “Running willy nilly” was just used as a technical term.
And we’re back for the 2nd half. It sounded like they were playing “Africa” at Gillette Stadium a second ago. They probably weren’t, but I’m posting this anyway.
HT: New England 0-0 Montreal
A half of two halves. NE better early on, with MTL dominating the ball late. Not much by way of clear chances for either side, with just 3 total shots on goal for both teams.
The Revs seem to have too many guys with the same idea going forward and they’re tripping over themselves in true early season fashion.
Announcer just criticized Dom Oduro for “only” having 48 career goals. That’s fun. *puts on headphones*
Team-sponsored boozing, yet critics insist that MLS isn’t growing.
Jay Heaps always looks like he’s trying to figure out the punchline of a joke. It’s great.
Just wanted to post a chart to make this look classy.
Is Opta keeping stats on “You Suck Asshole” for 2015?
Shout out to Jeremy Hall. Never going to be your star, but always good enough to get a check. Respect.
You know Nguyen is really good at soccer because he’s mastered fancy foot movement that leads to nothing.
This is problematic. Suddenly NE’s early struggles are making sense.
Bad times for Cameron Porter. He’ll be OK, though. With that name, he’ll be a Congressman in no time. Jack McInerney in for Mount Royal.
Impact medical dude has a gig with his Feet Foxes cover band later tonight.
15 minutes and no Montreal FWD has been called offside. Miss U di Vaio.
Nice try from Agudelo. Being a family man now has him trying all sorts of new shit. Happy for him.
The subject of our next When They Mattered feature: Diego Fagundez
SOOOO close to Agudelo missing 6 weeks with an exploded groin.
Would be incredible if we’ve entered the era of Eric Alexander being America’s greatest attacking midfielder.
“Lemme ask ya…are you happy with your current insurance coverage?”
Based solely of haircut, Bobby Shuttleworth isn’t to be trusted. Somewhere between American Psycho and Clockwork Orange. Stay away.
This game is already great. Paul Mariner is dressed like a member of the Addams Family.
Opta Omens in favor of the Revs. Always important.
Meanwhile the French Canadian Champions and Saviors of CONCACAF are trotting out…some guys. Alexander the #10, Dom “Don’t trade me, bro” Oduro are ready to engage in the MLS formation du jour.
Back in my day, you had a diamond midfield, and you liked it! None of this 4-2-3-1 malarkey.
No Jermaine Jones again for the Revs. Don’t know why this game wasn’t postponed. Really, the whole league should halt until Jermeezus is back at full strength.
New England, my pick to win All The Trophies in 2015, has yet to score a goal after 180min, so that’s great. I’m a professional.
It’s Week 3 (already) and neither team has claimed a win yet. Any other league and we’re probably be writing one of these teams off for the rest of 2015 after today. Thankfully, MLS is a loving and forgives past mistakes. Every team in MLS goes through at least one 5-game winless streaks, one of these squads is just getting it over with early. Efficient.