Burn (get it?) up your preseason predictions and spread the ashes across your yards in shame. In three weeks, everything you thought you knew about the 2015 MLS season is trash. New England has one point and hasn’t scored a goal, though Jermaine Jones might be dead. Seattle has already lost a home game to San Jose, so it’s obviously out of this thing already. And the defending champion LA Galaxy, intending to play the entire season without Landon Donovan, dropped points to a non-playoff team last week. After losing to San Jose in the preseason, LA’s 2015 was over before it started.
There is only one truly great team left in Major League Soccer. The previous paragraph may lead you to believe that it’s San Jose, but let’s not be silly about this. It’s clearly FC Dallas. The FC Dallases will be the only team to exit Week 3 with a perfect record, with wins today over Philadelphia (0-2), last week over Sporting Kansas City (3-1) and … really? … San Jose in the season opener (1-0). That should be all the evidence you need. The transitive property is real. Do the math and your formula will prove that FC Dallas is on a path to the Supporters’ Shield.
How good is life for Dallas in 2015? Its personal trainers (who may or may not be stunt doubles for Jennifer Aniston) are up on Twitter, showing off three road points. She used seven hashtags, so you know it’s real.
FC Dallas really does seem to be feeling itself, though. This is bad karma. It’s as though its staff has already forgotten that the team started 2014 with a 5-1-1 record only to finish fourth in the Western Conference. 2013 was even worse — a 6-1-1 start saw Dallas finish 11-12-11 and eighth in the West.
Wow. Really? FC Dallas fans have been around way too long to tweet like this.
They should know better. On second thought, I take it all back. Your preseason predictions were probably OK after all. Dallas is absolutely going to collapse. They seem to be begging the parity gods for an eight game winless streak in May.