Live blog, Liverpool vs. Manchester United: Rivals battle for Wenger’s trophy

fusion_sg-live-blog_1-2

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201511:31 am

FT: Liverpool 1 – 2 Manchester United || This picture sums up this game. It made very little sense. Very little. It was a game of highly paid chickens running around with their heads cut off, except for Herrera and Juan Mata. The game was so purely English.

*exhale* There are more games. The day is only beginning. Next we have Germans: Bayern Munich vs. Borussia Mönchengladbach. We’ll be live blogging over here, so click on this, because that’s how the internet works.

Thanks for joining.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201511:23 am

Emre Can clatters into Blind, which I suppose is to try to make up for getting embarrassed earlier. Rooney takes the penalty.

Mignolet saves. And this half of madness goes on …

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201511:20 am

PENALTY

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201511:19 am

It’s ridiculous to say that Di Maria needs to retire, but it’s starting to feel like Manchester has killed his soul, forcing him down the road toward retirement. If he stays, I fear he’ll become a mechanic in three years in downtown Manchester. No one will believe him when he says I used to play for United and Madrid.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201511:16 am

This is the tactics man, Mr. Zonal Marking, with the proper analysis.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201511:15 am

This certainly doesn’t feel like 11 v. 10 out there. The 5-Hour Energy is wearing off. But I guess one can expend 5 hours of energy in 87 minutes. I’m no scientist, but they offered science classes near me once.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201511:12 am

Falcao on for United. So many unlikely heroes on the field right now. Some playing for pride, some playing for transfers, some playing for exercise. A Falcao goal would be interesting, too. I wonder if he’d cry.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201511:09 am

Smalling sort of gives Balotelli a shove into the boards. Balotelli wasn’t happy. The fans, however, recognized the situation and stepped in. That’s good fan, right there.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201511:03 am

Colorado Rapids goalkeeper Clint Irwin gets it.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201511:02 am

REWIND: Praise be to Steve Gerrard.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:59 am

Liverpool 1 – 2 Manchester United || What. Jordan Henderson plays in Sturridge on the right and Danny Sturridge beats De Gea at the near post. We have a game, thanks to Steven Gerrard. 

There’s plenty of time left for Balotelli to be hero and for Gerrard to get the credit.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:55 am

The only thing left to hope for is this, if you enjoy entertainment.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:54 am

Overlooked moments:

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:54 am

Skrtel: “I’ll take the card, Martin.”

Richard Farley March 22, 201510:53 am

List of people Martin Skrtel could have been yelling at: Steven Gerrard, Martin Atkinson.

List of people Martin Skrtel should have been yelling at: Steven Gerrard.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:51 am

Liverpool 0 – 2 Manchester United || Juan Mata just scored an outrageous goal. His next manager will use this as a reason to sign him before placing him on the bench. Someone please love Juan Mata.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:45 am

Phil Jones is a reckless maniac out there. He just clatters into anything around him and somehow is still on the field. But you get to continue playing when your dad coaches.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:41 am

10-man Liverpool is arguably better than 11-man Liverpool, and definitely better than 11-man Liverpool with Steven Gerrard.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:39 am

This man can’t catch a break.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:38 am

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:36 am

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:36 am

Steven Gerrard with the greatest substitution performance of all time. He lasts 32 seconds before a crap tackle gets him a red card. That is phenomenal. Gerrard is trying to get to Los Angeles ASAP, apparently.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:34 am

Thanks to Phil Jones, Gerrard is on for the second.

We’re off.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:32 am

What else is going on out there? Well, I firmly believe this …

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:28 am

Meanwhile, internet detectives have discovered more information about Pele at Anfield.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:25 am

Daley Blind doing a poor man’s Messi. This is hilarious but it also feels like two kids working on Messi moves.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:22 am

HT: Liverpool 0 – 1 Manchester United || United has done will, showing that it’s possible its performance against Tottenham last week wasn’t a fluke. But still, one Phil Jones catastrophe can ruin everything. Or Chris Smalling, really.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:19 am

Meanwhile on the United bench, the South Americans are preparing plans to escape Manchester. If you’ve ever seen Victory, maybe something like that. Or maybe they’re just going to run away at halftime. I’m not sure they’ll be missed as United look relatively comfortable out there and not in any need of a Rojo, Di Maria, or Falcao, at least on the form they’ve shown recently.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:09 am

If you aren’t able to watch this game, here’s the general feel: Take 22 people. Bathe them all in a tub of 5-Hour Energy. Then force all 22 players to drink several gallons of 5-Hour Energy. Now kidnap their families and tell them that their workrate will determine if their families survive.

That’s what’s going on out on the field.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:07 am

Liverpool did this to itself. This really is the problem. Looks like he’s out there looking for the next Ballon d’Or winner.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 201510:02 am

It’s quite the open game out there. And the scoreline should please DC United goalkeeper Bill Hamid, an out United fan.

But it’s questionable how much Hamid actually likes United because there’s no way he can see the TV from there.

Richard Farley March 22, 201510:01 am

I think I’ve found Liverpool’s problem:

Miriti Murungi March 22, 20159:58 am

An important question posed by our Brent Maximin.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 20159:55 am

There’s a pause in play after Phil Jones runs over Adam Lallana at midfield while attempting to play a ball floated in by Sakho. Jones basically shrugged. But now Steven Gerrard is warming up. Or maybe that’s the outcome Jones wanted.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 20159:50 am

REWIND: Liverpool 0 – 1 Manchester United || Will Juan Mata’s opener convince his manager that he can play soccer? What else does this man have to do?

Richard Farley March 22, 20159:44 am

This Rooney lookalike was once one of the most productive players in the Premier League. Now he’s had to undergo deconstructive surgery to get back in the United team. No man should have to look like Wayne.

Miriti Murungi March 22, 20159:42 am

The most interesting thing out there is that for some reason Brendan Rodgers is playing 67 people in midfield. 

Richard Farley March 22, 20159:41 am

The majesty of Anfield, where even the pitch bleeds LFC red.

Richard Farley March 22, 20159:40 am

The majesty of Anfield, where even the pitch bleeds LFC red.

Richard Farley March 22, 20159:34 am

We’re off at Anfield, where attempts to prove United has an actual midfield are getting a little patronizing.

Richard Farley March 22, 20159:24 am

Richard Farley March 22, 20159:23 am

Richard Farley March 22, 20159:22 am

It’s being overshadowed by today’s game in Barcelona, but the North West Derby has its own weighty history (that everybody knows), as well as significant stakes. Here’s the top of the English Premier League table going into today’s game:

That place Manchester United is currently holding down? That’s the last coveted Champions League spot the EPL has to offer. Liverpool can take control of it today. Kickoff at Anfield is at 9:30 a.m. Eastern. 

NBCSN has the coverage.

NOW

The List

Mon, Oct 23, 2017 - 11:00 am

NEXT

Laughs

TONIGHT

8:00 pm

In Living Color

8:30 pm

In Living Color

9:00 pm

In Living Color

9:30 pm

In Living Color

WHERE TO WATCH