Do you know who Marcos Angeleri is? Neither does he, now, because today at the Santiago Bernabéu, Real Madrid icon Cristiano Ronaldo lured him into a false sense of security before completely destroying his personhood.
An exaggeration? Of course. This is how we talk about soccer, and even within that context, this embarrassment-cum-flash of skill was ridiculous. Here’s a man, Ronaldo, who defenders undoubtedly obsess over, who loses his balance just long enough to enable Angeleri’s dreams …
Angeleri should be remembered as a man who had a long and successful career. He’s 32, has appeared four times for the Argentina national team and has a Copa Libertadores title on his CV. He once motivated Sunderland to pay just under $3 million for his services. Sure, he’s wearing a man bun here, but tied within that unsightly hump are locks that’d make a less masculine man blush, I assume. We should envy Angeleri’s life.
Yet, this happened. And despite his brief time in England, his South American title, and his days in Spain, he will now be known as the man who got punked by Ronaldo.
Until we find something else to distract us.