The mother of an Arsenal youth player got arrested for smacking the club negotiator

Moms right? They’re always telling you you can accomplish your dreams if you put your mind to it. Filling you with pride and optimism. Then one day, just as you’re on the brink of of reaching your goal, they show up, embarrass you in front of your friends, start assaulting people and almost get hauled off by the cops. Typical.

The latest victim of the Maternal Recklessness Syndrome epidemic is Arsenal U-21 winger, 17-year-old Ainsley Maitland-Niles. Last month, his mother Jule Niles received a lifetime ban from the club’s training facility for physically assaulting the team’s negotiator, Dick Law — go ahead and laugh at his name — and two other members of the staff after a meeting about her son. Maybe Arsene Wenger was being cheap and didn’t want to satisfy her salary expectations. In which case, going upside the chief negotiator’s head is probably not the form of mediation best suited to getting her son paid. Dick Law is not to be violated.

According to the Hertfordshire police:

“Police were called at 4.11pm on March 20 to the location to reports two people had allegedly been assaulted by a woman. They suffered superficial injuries. Officers attended and a 36-year-old woman from Watford was arrested on suspicion of assault. She has since been released with no further action to be taken against her.”

Apparently, Ms. Niles is in possession of very few fucks and wasn’t done getting her point across to the Arsenal front office. This past Friday, while her son and Arsenal Lite were taking on Aston Villa Jr. at the team’s training grounds, she turned up … and turnt up. Witnesses say she was screaming at club officials from the stands and threatened to drag poor Ainsley off the field.

“Police were called to the location on Friday, April 24 at 2.40pm to reports a woman was refusing to leave the premises. Officers attended and the woman was issued with a warning.”

Have to feel bad for poor Ainsley. Here he is six months ago, signing his deal with the Gunners.

Little did he know that his mother was going to show up at his job and put hands on the very man responsible for negotiating what could be his first big money deal. He’s one incident away from his career crumbling, never being able to move out of the house, and resenting his mother for the rest of his life. Don’t do this to your children. Be reasonable and make threats over e-mail like a sensible person. It’s 2015.

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