Sorry, West Ham; David Moyes isn’t returning to England this summer

One year on from his ouster in Manchester, David Moyes is happy rehabilitating his reputation with Real Sociedad in Spain. Meanwhile, back in England, Manchester United’s relative mediocrity despite immense transfer spending helps the revisionist bandwagon rattle along.

(Not that Rio Ferdinand’s on board with that, because it turns out Moyes had the temerity to actually try and coach the defender.)

So it seems he’s not interested in a move to West Ham this summer. Apparently the club’s looking for a manager; perhaps someone should tell Sam Allardyce.

“Obviously there are clubs in England who would be interested,” he’s quoted by Sport as saying, modestly, “but my job and my plans haven’t changed.”

For a start, why swap inexorable low-budget mid-level mediocrity here for the same thing here? *

Sociedad’s winless streak extended to six matches on Tuesday after a 1-1 draw with Athletic Bilbao. The club was 15th in La Liga when Moyes took charge and now is now 12th, so not much of an improvement.

But six months into his tenure, Moyes is warming to his expat “grass is greener” theme. “It’s as poor a Premier League as I’ve seen, maybe since the start of the Premier League,” Moyes said earlier this week according to ESPN.

Bearing in mind that the inaugural Premier League season in 1992-93 featured stadiums that were basically sheds, few foreign players, no managers from outside the U.K. or Ireland and the likes of Oldham Athletic, Wimbledon, Sheffield United and Coventry City — none of them relegated — this is a pretty bold claim.

It was still four years before Arsène Wenger would arrive and shake English soccer to its core by the revolutionary notion that it’s smarter for athletes to consume pasta and water rather than French fries and beer. But as plenty of United fans would tell you, Moyes is something of an expert on poor-quality soccer.

* Disclaimer: that image is from a fictional film starring Elijah Wood as a Harvard student turned West Ham hooligan – an all-too-common phenomenon. Sadly the movie was called Green Street Hooligans, not Frodo Goes Postal.

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