An English university banned a team for making Pornhub its shirt sponsor

Rutherford Raiders FC may sound like your nephew’s orange slice munchin’ U-9 travel club, but it’s actually a student team at England’s Kent University. Unfortunately for the Raiders, they have been banned from playing at the university due to their chosen shirt sponsor: Pornhub.

That may seem like an ambiguous corporate title, so allow me explain. Pornhub is an internet company that (and this is the shocking part) is somehow allowed to display the carnal acts of various men and women in different states of undress.

England must be a weird place. This sort of filth would never fly in America. I didn’t even know this sort of thing was available.

MORE: Watch Jurgen Klopp talk about the one time he watched a porno

The whole sponsorship started as a joke. Some college bros (blokes? geezers?) thought it would funny to have the obviously inappropriate logo across their chests, because that’s how college guys think. Being English, I imagine the idea came about after a very polite keg stand of some room temperature Boddingtons during a feast on flavorless meats. Someone at Pornhub caught wind and decided to make the sponsorship real.

Kent University administration wasn’t having it:

“The team has been spoken with and will not be allowed to wear the shirts in question at any time.

“We take this issue very seriously and inter-college sports teams, which are the responsibility of Kent Sport, must present any potential sponsorship and/or logos for approval.”

That’s sounds reasonable, until you read an (anonymous) Rutherford Raider’s inscrutable logic.

“We are struggling to see why they are having a problem. The university cricket team are sponsored by Kingfisher, which is also an age-restricted product. The university rugby team once had training shirts with ’80 minutes, 15 positions, no protection, wanna ruck?’.”

“In my opinion the decision is made my people in Kent Sport that are out of touch with what’s socially acceptable.”

“It’s hard for football teams to find a sponsor. Both Kent Sport and Rutherford refused to give us any money. Clearly Pornhub did because there’s was an opportunity to create a bit of attention.”

“I personally haven’t come across anyone yet that has found it anything other than funny.”

Totally, bro. I feel you. Completely changed my mind. I mean … it’s like … who isn’t watching porn on the internet. At this very second. You’re probably indulging an Austrian MILF leather fetish on another Chrome tab while you’re reading this post. It’s the way of the world!

Universities should exist to encourage the exploratory freedom of the world’s youth, not suppress it with their old-timey notions of propriety. Besides, it’s not like there’s an actual naked person on the shirts. That would be worse … right?

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