Borussia Dortmund players apologize to fans with beer

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Things we know:

  • Borussia Dortmund is having a horrific season in the Bundesliga;
  • The Bundesliga is a German league;
  • Germans typically enjoy beer;
  • Beer heals all wounds.

Do the math and the only proper way for a German club to apologize to its supporters is by pouring them beer. Free beer. Lots of free beer. An unhealthy, memory-wiping amount of beer. So much beer that you fear the risk of legal action. Enough beer that everyone involved wakes up the next morning hating themselves because they fear they’ve become some kind of German caricature. All of the beer.

Dortmund are presently dead last in the standings. There have been suggestions from the press that its notoriously vocal and usually loyal fans — this does not include your boy Steve from marketing — are starting to turn on the club. On Tuesday, a supporters’ group held their annual Christmas party and a few players, including Roman Weidenfeller, Mats Hummels, Marco Reus, Ilkay Gundogan and Neven Subotic all came to kick it.

“BVB’s players signed autographs for over two and a half hours and finally served behind the bar, another thank you for the fantastic support from the stands during a season that has so far brought little in the way of sporting cheer.”

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Hell of an effort by BVB, even if that guy is still pissed. Maybe the bar didn’t carry his brand, or he really wanted to meet Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang. Regardless, nothing strengthens community bonds like alcohol. It never fails.

I imagine the entire affair was very peaceful and there were polite exchanges between players and fans on how Dortmund’s season could improve.

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