Inflatable toys at soccer matches. It’s all so much fun, isn’t it? Until the adrenalin starts to rush, and things get a little bit crazy, and you lose control, and suddenly you find yourself charged with assault for allegedly striking a steward with an inflatable shark.
Easily done. But potentially serious for Kenny Meech, a fan of English fifth-division side Grimsby Town, who as a result of the charge has been banned from going to any more games, or even being in the town center for four hours either side of a home match. Which, if you’ve ever been to Grimsby, is not necessarily a bad thing. But he’s not happy. In fact, he feels the charge has been grossly inflated.
“I feel like the jaws have nabbed me,” the 50-year-old told the Grimsby Telegraph in what appears to be some kind of weak Spielberg film-related pun.
“I was down at the front celebrating the winning goal and everyone surged forward. You can imagine what it is like when they score a late goal like that – it’s like England versus Germany. We were all jumping up and down and my inflatable must have accidentally hit the steward on the head. I got picked out by the steward and I was then pulled out of the crowd. I did not show any physical violence whatsoever.”
The Telegraph somberly reports that “the arrest comes just two weeks after another Grimsby Town supporter became embroiled in an inflatable-related incident” that saw him put in a headlock for failing to surrender his giant soccer ball.
As the accompanying video shows, Grimsby fans do love their inflatable toys. Look, there’s a banana! A beach ball! A dinosaur! A penis! A blow-up doll with massive breasts!