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Breaking bread and building peace

Mad Merch: These creepy Chelsea dolls will haunt your dreams

A new set of Chelsea dolls have conquered the uncanny valley, but that’s old news (days old). In the face of tragedy — of emotional injustices that threaten to derail the happiness we all deserve — we need solutions. How do we deal with an army intent on occupying our nightmares?

A glow in the dark ball would help, as would stickers. Because who doesn’t like stickers? Minions of the dark do, so in the face of their invasion, when a glow in the dark soccer ball helps you see their approach, offer them adhesives, and pretend you want peace.